Category Archives: George Carlin

Funny Jokes – Funny Joke – Synchronize

If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

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Famous Quotes – Admit

“People love to admit they have bad handwriting or they can’t do math. And they
will readily admit to being awkward: ‘I’m such a klutz!’ But they will never
admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.”
George Carlin

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George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin Quotes

Famous Quotes

Here’s another question I have. How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in goodness. Name 6 ways we’re better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? ‘Cause chickens are decent people. You don’t see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No, you don’t see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you? When’s the last chicken you heard about come home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? Doesn’t happen, ’cause chickens are decent people.
– George Carlin Quotes

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Funny Quotes – Honesty – George Carlin

Funny Quotes – Honesty – George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
– George Carlin

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