Monthly Archives: October 2007

Invention

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Dave Barry

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Life

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.”
Robert Frost

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Teenagers

Bringing up teenagers is like sweeping back ocean waves with a frazzled broom — the inundation of outside influences never stops. Whatever the lure — cars, easy money, cigarettes, drugs, booze, sex, crime — much that glitters along the shore has a thousand times the appeal of a parent’s lecture.

Mary Ellen Snodgrass

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Fighters

“Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do
freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”
George Carlin

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Funny Quotes – Holidays

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.

Henny Youngman

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Funny Quotes – Housework

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Joan Rivers

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Funny Quote – Character

No man knows his true character until he has run out of
gas, purchased something on the installment plan, and
raised an adolescent.

Marcelene Cox

Feline Quotes

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