Funny Quotes

Funny QuotesOnce, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. 
- W. C. Fields 1879-1946, American Actor
Funny Jokes

Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes - Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands … but English women only hope to find in their butlers.
Somerset Maugham

Funny Quotes – On Grandma

On Grandma: My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, ‘Sexy Senior Citizen.’ You don’t want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.
- Andy Rooney
Funny Jokes